


The Love Story of Shark and Seal – An Interspecies Romance

by house_of_lantis, Shakespeares_Girl



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Crack, Kradam as shark!merman!Adam/seal!selkie!Kris, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-05
Updated: 2011-12-05
Packaged: 2017-10-26 22:25:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/288558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/house_of_lantis/pseuds/house_of_lantis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shakespeares_Girl/pseuds/Shakespeares_Girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A love that seems impossible is…still impossible?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Love Story of Shark and Seal – An Interspecies Romance

**Author's Note:**

> CO-WRITTEN WITH: shakespearsgrl2 (AO3 didn't let me post her name in the co-writer box)
> 
> This little story came out of just chatting with shakespearsgrl2 about how we don’t like to make Katy into an unnecessary villain in stories – and somehow we ended up with this! I blame shakespearsgrl2. Completely. It’s ALL her fault.
> 
> Kradamadness Round 9 Movies: Splash/Finding Nemo/Roan Inish/Sharks Tale
> 
> We wrote this awhile back but I forgot to post it here, too.

It's not that Adam was particularly carnivorous. It's just that he really liked seals. You know. _As things to chase._ They were really fast, which meant that he could work off all the carbs from chomping on that flock of seagulls – which, yuck, Adam was totally vegetarian now thank you very much – and also meant that most of the time, he was too lazy to really go full out and catch one. So he was really surprised when the seal he was chasing was suddenly close enough to –

The noise the seal made when Adam's teeth closed over its flipper was heartbreaking. If Adam's eyes had eyelids, he'd totally be widening them right now.

"Ohmygod! I'm so sorry, I thought you were – I didn't mean to bite you! Are you okay? Are you hurt? Do I need to call a doctor or something?"

The seal turned around and stared at him balefully. "Just eat me and get it over with."

Adam thought he had never seen anything as cute as this particular seal.

"I'm not going to eat you," Adam gasped, shocked at the suggestion. "Why would I do that? Do you know how high in cholesterol you are?"

The seal blinked wetly at him. Of course, it was hard not to be wet in the ocean, but Adam had the distinct feeling that the seal was crying.

"Great, I can't even get eaten by a shark! What else can go wrong today?"

Before he could help himself, Adam was pulling the little seal in against him with one fin and patting its head with the other. "Aw, are you having a bad day?" He asked, gently. "Tell me about it and I'll see if I can help, okay?"

The seal made a squeaky, barking noise and Adam gave a toothy grin. He was so keeping this seal.

He really was the cutest thing ever!

***

For the first time in his life, Kris floundered in the water. His left back flipper wasn't torn, no thanks to that mean shark who apologized - APOLOGIZED - after he chased him for miles and then had the gall to bite him!

_Bite. Him._

Kris swam moodily as the shark followed him, weaving around him slowly, making Kris want to head for the nearest rock. In fact, that sounded perfect. He made a sharp turn to the north and bobbed up to the surface, the warmth of the sun against his skin. It hurt to use his flipper and Kris blew some bubbles, humming to himself.

He wasn't going to make it.

***

"You know," the shark said from behind him. "If you want, I know a great Nurse Shark who can take a look at your fin. He's very good and I promise he won't eat you."

Kris splashed in what he hoped came off as an agitated manner and ducked back under the waves to glare at the polka-dotted shark.

"You bit me," he pointed out, accusingly, and then put his all into the glare.

The shark gaped at him for fifteen or twenty seconds, then broke out into a huge grin.

"Aw! You are just too cute for words! I could just eat you with a spoon – not that I would because no opposable thumbs. And also, I’m totally a vegetarian. So, you know. Not with the eating of living things," he added quickly, seeing the horrified look that crossed Kris's face. "You know, if you want, I can help you onto that rock over there?"

"Yeah, right, so you can eat me while my back is turned," Kris grumbled.

The shark sighed and lunged toward Kris. Kris made some very embarrassing shrieking noises as he was propelled upward out of the water and into the air. When he landed squarely, if a little painfully, on the rock, he frowned. The shark poked his head out of the water.

"So, are you gonna be okay? Or should I call Monte?"

***

Kris sighed, tucking his chin against the rock. He sighed again when he saw two fins break the surface of the water.

_Great, that seal biter brought a friend. Yay._

"Hi!" The shark said, popping his head, showing all of his teeth in his smile. "I brought Monte! Let him see your little fin, huh?"

"It's a flipper, not a fin," Kris grumbled. _"Idiot."_

The shark chuffed out a laugh. "Awww...okay. Flipper. Hey Monte! Your patient's ready for you!" He snickered, his voice sing-song. “But he’s a little grumpy!”

Kris nearly slipped off the rock when the huge Nurse Shark splashed out of the water. "Eppp! Epp! Yappp!"

"All right, little fella, let me see," Monte said, his voice all deep and soft rumbles.

Kris shivered, not wanting to turn his back on the shark.

"I can't help you, guy, if you don't show me what happened."

"Come on, honey, let Monte see," the polka-dotted shark said, moving closer to Kris, his long snout propped on the rock, head turned so he had his eye on Kris.

Kris sighed, flopping around a bit to show his back flipper to the Nurse Shark. "Is it...bad? Will I ever swim again?"

The Nurse Shark made some "hmmm" noises and Kris jumped when he felt a long tongue drag over his injured flipper.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DID YOU JUST TASTE ME?"

"Monte!" The other shark yelled, splashing the surface with his head.

"Well, how else did you expect me to figure out what was wrong with him? Do you see me carrying a doctor's bag?" Monte hissed at him. He cleared his throat and looked at Kris. "You're going to be fine. Try not to swim too fast. I'd recommend floating for a bit; but really, you shouldn't swim at all for maximum healing."

Kris sighed, pressing his chin on the rock. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Monte said, then turned to look at the other shark. "Adam, you going to stay with him for a little while? He won't be able to get food or swim from predators."

Kris watched as the polka-dotted shark named Adam nodded. "Absolutely, I'll stay with him for as long as it's needed."

Monte snorted, pushing his nose at Adam. "Figures you'd end up married to a seal."

Kris raised his head. "Married? What?"

“Okay! Funny joke! Ha-ha-ha!” Adam laughed, turning on his side to wave his fin at Monte. "Thanks for coming by, Monte! Say hello to the family for me."

Kris watched as Monte splashed his tail at Adam and then disappeared under the water. He turned on his side, careful of his back flipper, and stared at the pretty blue water. This was his life?

"Hey, uh, are you hungry?"

Kris flapped his front flipper listlessly. "Yeah, kind of."

"What do you like to eat?"

He stared at the shark. "Fish."

"Okay! I'll be right back. You stay right there and get some sun and rest, okay? I'll be back in a jiff!"

Kris watched as the shark dove into the water, his back fin disappearing quickly, leaving a faint wake behind him. He sighed and closed his eyes. Married to a shark? No one would ever believe this.

***

As if Kris's day wasn’t traumatic enough.

He was chased by a shark, bitten, thrown out of the ocean and tossed onto a rock, and _now_ that same shark was barfing fish at him. It was disturbing at best and permanently mentally scarring at worst.

"Really? This is how you decide to feed me? By vomiting fish onto my rock?"

The shark looked contrite. "What would you suggest? I thought this was the best way, but maybe if you thought of something else . . ."

"Didn't Monte say I could swim if I was careful? You couldn't, like, herd a school of fish over here so I could carefully swim after them and eat them?"

"No."

Kris blinked. "No, you couldn't, or no I can't eat them?"

"No, you can't swim, even carefully. I am not letting you injure yourself even more when I could have prevented it. Now, eat your fish before you starve to death and I have to explain to a seal colony why I'm bringing back the carcass of one of their members."

"Pretty sure no one would notice," Kris grumbled, but he wasn’t about to argue with that toothy shark and defy orders and swim around to catch food when there was already food available to him. Now that he was looking at it, the fish were mostly undigested – except for a few small yellow ones near the top of the pile, which Kris thought used to be stripy and blue – and nearly all of them were still flopping and wheezing enough to be fresh catch.

Kris moved forward and ate slowly. The shark watched him the whole time, which made Kris’s tummy tightened – he hated being watched – and when he was full, Kris nosed the remaining fish back towards the shark.

"You might as well have the leftovers," he said, when Adam looked at him strangely.

"Did you not catch the part about my being a vegetarian? I pretty much eat shrimp and krill and plankton. The occasional anemone. I like seaweed. Fish are just . . . not my thing." The shark shuddered and it was Kris’s turn to stare at him strangely.

"Okay . . ." Kris said, slowly. "So, question: Why did Monte say we were married? Because I'm pretty sure I didn't see any religious fish hanging around making pronouncements about 'seal and shark.'"

***

Adam gave the pretty seal his best smile – all sharp, white teeth. Adam was inordinately proud of his teeth – they were so clean and so white. And because he was a vegetarian, he was sure that his breath was much nicer.

“Well, you see,” he said, chuckling nervously. “Monte thinks that since I’m way past my mating season and this was the first time I’ve actually been interested in someone and—“

“I’m a seal,” Kris said, lifting his head to stare at him.

Adam bobbed his head. “Yeah, I know.”

“We – we can’t mate!”

“Why not? I’m pretty sure I like you. A lot.” Adam said, showing his smile again. “And I think if you got to know me better, you’d like me a lot, too. And I promise to never bite you again. Accidentally.”

He watched as the seal bounced up further on his front flippers. “Look, uh, Adam, right?” Adam nodded, pleased that Kris remembered his name. “Adam, I’m not sure how to tell you this but I’m a seal and you’re a shark. We’re not even the same species. We’re not able to mate. It’s not natural.”

Adam frowned. “Are you saying that my feelings for you aren’t…natural? That’s so mean! How can you say that? I know what I feel!”

“No!” Kris whined, flopping on the rock again. “No, no, no! I’m not like that! I’m just saying that…” He closed his eyes and rolled on his side. “I flunked that class on ocean biology so I don’t remember why…but I know that we can’t mate. It’s never been done before.”

“Then that’s great! We’ll be the first! It’ll set a—a—what’s that word when you do something first?”

“Precedent?” Kris said, looking up at him.

“Yeah, we’ll set a precedent! Who says that all sharks have to eat meat? And who says that sharks and seals can’t be friends? And who says that sharks can’t have a seal mate? It’s so stupid! Why are there so many rules? And who made them in the first place, huh?”

He watched Kris sigh, closing his eyes and curling his front flippers over his chest. “I don’t know, Adam. It’s just that…I don’t know.”

Adam swam closer and pushed his nose out of the water until he was up on the rock. He pressed his nose against Kris’s warm chest. “You’re so cute.”

“Thank you,” Kris said, primly. He looked at Adam. “I like your polka dots.”

Adam grinned again. “Really? Because I hate them. They’re kind of gross, you know. I mean, I wish I could be like those killer whales? They’re gorgeous – all black and white. It’s very sophisticated.”

“I think you’re pretty just the way you are.”

Adam licked Kris’s chest, chuckling when the little seal squealed. He slid back into the cool waters and bobbed, his tail flicking back and forth, always in motion, but this time showing his pleasure. “Awwww…thank you, Kris. I love you.”

He watched as Kris turned back on his tummy, bouncing slightly to the edge of the rock so that he was looking at Adam. “You’re kind of weird. I’ve never met a shark like you before.”

For Adam, that sounded like love to him. He ducked his head into the water and rose up, splashing Kris with the water. He laughed, looking at the water drops clinging to his nose whiskers and eyelashes. Wow, he was ever so cute.

“Seriously, I just want to eat you up!”

******

**INTERMISSION**

 

Orlando Bloom: And amazingly, the shark and seal begin...their mating swim? (MAKES CHOKING SOUND) Really, uh, guys, I don't think I can read--

Producer: Just read what's on the page, Orlando.

Orlando: No, of course, I mean, I'm perfectly fine with reading the text, of course, but I'm just not sure about this shark and seal mating...I mean, I don't think sharks and seals can actually mate. They're not even the same species--

Producer: We have documented film footage of the mating, Orlando. It’s quite something.

Orlando: Footage? Of a shark and seal mating? How...does the shark...mate with the seal?

Producer: Actually, through some amazing observation of these two, we were able to discover that the shark had bitten the seal's back flipper and spent a number of days with the seal as it healed, bringing the seal food, and generally being affectionate with the seal. It was quite a romance.

Orlando: The shark was being affectionate...with the seal? How does that happen?

Producer: Orlando, can you continue with the reading, please?

Orlando: Oh, of course, sure, sure, sorry, mate. Okay, where were we...okay. And amazingly, the shark and seal begin their mating swim. The shark circles the seal like a predator in the ocean, but the seal is remarkably unafraid. He flips his back flipper at the shark in encouragement and – (MAKES A FUNNY GASPING NOISE). Um, I can't read this. It’s…pornographic! My agent never said that I would be narrating interspecies aquatic porn!

Producer: It’s not pornography, Orlando. We are merely capturing amazing footage of a shark showing his seal mate love.

Orlando: No, I can't read the next part. Can we just edit that part out? Or just leave it silent? Like I'm giving them – uh – respect for the act or something for what they're doing? I'm very uncomfortable with this part.

Producer: (GRUMBLING) We should've hired Gary Oldman for this.

***

Gary Oldman: Okay, so I have a question.

Producer: (MUMBLES) Oh, for the love of God, not again. (SPEAKS NORMALLY) Yes, Gary, what is it?

Gary: Do you want this in an accent or read as American? Because I genuinely feel like the narrator would be Russian. Or possibly German. It would lend credibility to the role, yes?

Producer: Just read it using your normal voice, Gary.

Gary: If you're sure. (USING SHAKESPEAREAN DICTION) When last we left our mated pair of shark and seal, they were declaring their love by splashing playfully in the ocean and threatening to eat each other…

 

*********

_“Seriously, I just want to eat you up!”_

“You—you said you were a VEGETARIAN!” Kris screamed at him, his eyes wide and horrified. “You—you shark!”

Kris paled at the thought of being eaten after all that had happened today, after all that he had survived:

First, getting kicked out of the seal colony all because Katy wanted to mate with that fat and ugly George (“it’s because he’s tall and you know what they say about how tall a seal is to how good the mating will be,” Katy said, waving her front flipper dismissively at Kris) and how Kris went to declare war on his rival, jumping on top of him and biting his head. He didn’t know why he was exiled. That’s what boy seals did! They defended territory and acted aggressively towards other rivals. Stupid seal colony.

There was nothing to live for! Rejected by Katy, abandoned by his colony – what was a lone seal supposed to do? Seals didn’t live alone. They didn’t go rogue. He thought death was the best answer.

Then, he was just swimming along, depressed and not really thinking about anything, and out of nowhere that stupid polka-dotted shark came after him! Chasing him and chasing him! Yelling and LAUGHING at him. And then biting him! BITING HIM! Then he wouldn’t do the honorable thing and eat Kris and give him a noble death. And then – and then, the shark acted like he didn’t mean to bite him and brought a scary Nurse Shark to LICK HIM!

And now he changes his mind?

Kris stared at the shark, sliding on the rock, trying to find a place where the shark wouldn’t be able to get him.

"NO! No, no, God, I'm sorry. I keep forgetting you're not used to me. It's just an expression, I promise!" The shark said, back pedaling. “It’s because you’re so cute!” He let out a nervous laugh. _Heh-heh-heh._ “You know me, right? I’m your buddy. I’m your mate! I’m your Adam.”

“You’re a shark! We can’t mate!” Kris said, huffing loudly. “And what kind of a shark goes around calling himself ‘Adam’ anyway? How is that scary? It’s almost two-legged!”

Adam brightened. “Two-legged?” He sighed dreamily, sinking into the water. “I wish I was two-legged. I bet I’d look awesome on two-legs.”

Kris let out a soft plaintive sound. “It’s not all that it’s cracked up to be.”

“You’re just delicious.”

“Adam is a horrible name for a shark,” Kris muttered, frowning at him.

Kris watched as the shark laughed and laughed. When Adam finally got himself under control, he cleared his throat and swept a fin over his mouth – well, his rather large, toothy mouth.

“You’re right, I guess. I just never thought about it. My parents named me Adam.”

“I thought male sharks ate their young to keep the competition down.”

Adam swam around the rock thoughtfully. “No, I think that’s dolphins.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s sharks. I remember that much from my ocean biology class.”

“No, it’s dolphins.”

Kris narrowed his eyes, watching as the shark swam around the rock slowly. “You’re trying to distract me.”

Adam stopped in front of him and gave him a smile. “Okay, fine, you want to know the truth? I’m not _really_ a shark.”

Kris snorted. “You _look_ like a shark. What species are you then?”

“Well, I’m a shark, okay, but only for the next…” Adam looked up at the sun. “Day and a half.”

Kris thought he was totally justified in slapping his flipper down on the shark’s nose. “You lied to me!”

“Did not,” Adam countered, rubbing his nose with his fin. “I never said I was a shark full time. You just jumped to that conclusion all on your own. Actually, I’m a mer-shark.”

“You made that up,” Kris said, rolling his eyes.

Adam sighed and slid his face up on the rock, looking pretty serious and all-important all of a sudden. “My name is Adam Lambert, Prince of the mer-people of the western waters.”

Kris squeaked and backed away from him, falling into the water. He pushed away from the rock with his flipper and started to swim. Of course, he forgot that his back flipper was injured and all he managed to do was swim around the rock and closer to Adam.

“What’s wrong with you? Get back on the rock, little seal!” Adam hissed at him, swimming to him and nudging his head under Kris’s belly and pushing him back on the rock. “Do you want to be eaten by a predator?”

“You are a PREDATOR!”

“I’m your mate and best friend. I would never let anything hurt you.”

Kris winced as he rolled on the rock, his heart thumping in his chest. This was going to be so _awkward_.

“Umm…so, uh, back to that thing about being married? You were just kidding, right?”

“Well…Monte is probably going back to our people and tell everyone that I found a mate. I’m pretty sure that my parents are going to be sending out a search party for us to bring us back. They’re going to want to meet you and…”

Kris made a face at Adam. At least the shark had the good grace to look chagrined.

“So I’m…betrothed to a mer-shark—“

“Actually…”

“For the love of Poseidon!”

“Yeah, he’s my Great Grandfather, but that’s not the point. The point is that, um, I’m not just a mer-shark. I’m a merman.”

“I need to sit down.”

“You’re a seal,” Adam pointed out, desperately. “Sitting is probably going to be hard for you.”

“You do realize that I _am_ a seal, right?”

“Yeah…”

Kris sighed. “And you’re merman.”

Adam grinned, nodding his head.

“How are you this—if you _really_ are the Prince of the mer-people, how come you don’t know about the great feud between the mer-people and the selkies? And since I’m a seal, I’m on the side of the selkies, right?”

“But you’re so cute. I don’t care if you’re aligned to the seahorses,” Adam said, giving what Kris thought of as a shrug. “But that old feud isn’t with me. I’m not mad at any of the selkies for wanting part of our western waters. I mean, there’s plenty to share with everyone. Besides, I’m not going to let a bunch of political bureaucrats tell me who I can be friends with or mate with.”

He gave a “so there” nod.

“You’re a, um, really progressive,” Kris said, closing his eyes and sighing defensively. This was so wrong, Kris didn’t have enough language skills to describe just how wrong it was. Wrong and a little bit icky. “I think you should just go back to your kind, Adam.”

“Why?” Adam whined, looking despondent. “And leave you here? Defenseless? What kind of a Prince am I to do that?”

Kris sighed and tucked his chin against the rock. “Because I’m not a seal.”

“Oh?” Adam said, popping his head out of the water. “Are you a were-seal?”

“No, you idiot! And were-seals don’t really exist in real life. Shesh!”

“What?” Adam stared at him…and then he suddenly got it. “Oh! _Ohhhh…_ ”

Kris groaned. “Yes, ohhhh. Now, do you know why you have to leave?” He felt grumpty and sulky.

"No."

"What? But, I just explained it!"

Adam grinned. “No. You told me why you _think_ I should leave, but I don’t actually agree with your reasoning. That rivalry between our kind is stupid and we’re kind of married anyway so maybe we should start something new! Something nice. I think it’s a perfectly wonderful idea for us mate. Just because you’re a seal doesn’t mean you and me are in a feud. And not only that, you’re two-legged and magical so…hey, are you hungry? I’m starving. I’m going to go eat some seagulls—“

“You said you were vegetarian!”

Adam tilted his head at Kris. “I am!”

“Seagulls are…you can’t eat them! They’re—“

“But Kris, I’m so hungry. I have to eat some protein, even though I don’t really like stringy seagull meat,” Adam whined, pouting slightly. “I promise to bring you back some freshly caught fish, okay?”

Kris watched, horrified and a little bemused, as Adam swam off into the deep waters with a flick of his tail. When his dorsal fin sank under the surface, Kris placed his head on his front flippers and made a whimpery sound.

“No one is ever going to believe this.”

He blinked slowly, the warmth of the sun heating his back and luring him into a nap.

***

Against his better judgment and Adam’s strong insistence that they get closer to shore, Kris rode Adam’s back as he swam languidly through the ocean water. He’d pop up to the surface every couple of hours so that Kris could breathe and Adam would push Kris up on a rock, getting some sun, while Adam swam for fish and seagulls – there’s goes that vegetarian “diet,” Kris thought meanly.

But after spending several days with Adam, Kris was startled to realize that Adam was growing on him.

“Are you _really_ Prince of the mer-people?”

Adam smiled. “Are you _really_ a selkie? In the old stories, they say that selkie boys are very handsome in their two-legged form and have powers.”

Kris rolled his eyes. “What kind of powers?”

“Sexy powers.”

Kris was sure that if Adam had eyebrows, he’d be waggling them. He chewed thoughtfully on the fish that Adam brought him. “It’s true. I am very handsome when I am two-legged and I do have sexy powers.”

Adam snorted, looking up at him from the water. “I’m so glad! I mean, I would love you even if you were an ugly selkie.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Aren’t you curious about me? What I look like as a merman?”

Kris sighed. “No, not really.”

“Well, I’m very handsome, too.” He paused. “Very handsome.”

He could hear the pout in Adam’s voice and Kris grinned, turning on his back and basking in the warmth of the sun. “All right, I guess I’ll just have to take your word for it.”

Adam flicked a mini tidal wave of water on Kris with his large tail before disappearing under the deep waters. Kris stuck his head underwater and saw Adam swimming off, his long polka-dotted shark body undulating perfectly. Kris blew bubbles and pulled himself out of the water to roll on his stomach on the warm rock. He closed his eyes and couldn’t help smiling to himself.

***

When Adam finally brought Kris closer to land, he watched as Kris swam slowly up to the beach.

“You promise that you won’t just run away once you’re two-legged again?”

“I promise. Shesh,” Kris said, rolling his eyes. He stopped swimming when his belly hit the sand and he sighed, reaching up with his front flipper to the hidden spot on top of his head that would unlock and let Kris take off his seal skin.

Slowly, he stood on his two legs, folding up his seal skin carefully so that it was the size of a small and handy leathery rectangle. He looked out at the water to see the shark bobbing in the distance.

Kris pointed to some rocks and watched as the shark turned, swimming towards the rocky wall near the shore. He made his way there, careful where he placed his bared feet. He moved slowly, watching where he stepped, until he was at the very end of the rocky wall. He looked up and around but he didn’t see the shark’s fin anywhere.

And then he heard it – the most beautiful singing voice in all of Creation. He took a few more steps to the far edge of the rock wall and looked down to see a black haired merman lounging on the rock, his pale human torso forming into a dark green, blue, purple merman tail. Kris opened his mouth and stared.

“Adam?”

He turned and smiled up at Kris. “Hello, little seal.”

Kris nearly stumbled and fell off the rocky wall as he made his way down towards Adam, sitting down beside him. He winced when he bared behind met the hard rock and he stood, unfolding part of his seal skin and putting it down on the rock to sit on. He stared at Adam and watched as he flicked his tail in and out of the water, playful and teasing.

“You’re…gorgeous.”

Adam’s smile widened and he sat up, preening a little. “I know, right?”

“Can I touch your…tail?”

He watched as Adam slithered to his back, long arms curled under his head. “Go ahead.”

Kris reached out and placed his hand gingerly on Adam’s hip, running his hand down the side of his merman tail. It was soft, the large and glittery scales thick and strong, the muscles underneath firm. He’d never met a merman in his long life and Kris gulped, twice, reluctantly pulling his hand away.

He turned to see Adam staring at him, his pale blue eyes looking unabashedly at Kris’s naked human form. Kris blushed a little and ran his hand through his damp hair.

“This is so weird,” he said, shifting his eyes so he could look at Adam. “How is this possible?”

“I don’t know,” Adam said, laughing. “But it is and that’s all I need to know.” He moved up to his elbows and gazed up at Kris. “I like your two-legged form. You are very handsome.”

“You just want to know about my sexy powers.”

Adam licked his lips, which were pink and looked glossy. “Of course I do!”

“The fact of the matter is, you’re a merman and I’m…two-legged. We’re still not going to be able to make anything sexy work.”

“I know. We’ll have to wait a little while until we can have a proper honeymoon,” he said, thoughtfully. “However, I can still give you lots of pleasure with my hands and my mouth if you want.”

Kris nearly fell off the rock. Adam laughed at him.

***

_Some Time Later…_

“Stop eying those seagulls,” Kris scolded, handing him half of a sandwich and giving his arm a little slap. “Remember what happened the last time you ate one?”

Adam pouted, accepting the sandwich. “But I met you. It couldn’t have been that bad!”

“Revisionist history,” Kris said, rolling his eyes. “You ate a seagull and then you decided you needed to exercise and you chased after a helpless little seal and nearly tore his back flipper off. It’s just blind luck on your part that you didn’t kill that little seal.”

“I seem to remember that you were out _looking_ for a shark to eat you because you were all depressed that Katy didn’t love you and she wanted that fat George as her mate.”

“I seem to remember _you_ regurgitating fish on me!”

“You really want to win this one, honey?” Adam teased, smiling. “Although, to be honest, seagulls only taste good when I’m a shark. Otherwise, they’re kind of saltier than a sea cucumber and nowhere _near >_ as friendly.” He ate his half of the sandwich thoughtfully and it was gone in four bites.

Kris shook his head, handing him another one. “You’re incorrigible.”

And he leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips, grinning when he tasted a little bit of mayo on the corner of Adam’s mouth.

“Hmmm…baby, I could be even more incorrigible if you let me.”

Kris laughed, sliding off the rocks and into the water. When he wasn’t in town, he preferred to be naked. He discovered that humans were a little wary of walking around naked in human towns. He usually wore clothes that his new human friends gave him, but when he was with Adam, Kris didn’t like being covered up.

“You know, we should really see about getting you a two-leg permit.” He wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck, rubbing his legs on his merman tail. It felt _amazing_ and he couldn’t stop rubbing and grinding. “I mean, not that I’m complaining but sometimes, this whole ‘can’t-leave-the-ocean’ bit gets old…and you did promise me a proper honeymoon as I recall.”

“Or, I can just surprise you with it one day,” Adam said, his arms lifting Kris off of him and sitting him down on the lowest rock. He smiled as he swam to the edge and using his strong arms, pulled himself of the water, his legs braced against the rock.

“Ohmygod! You have toes!” Kris said, staring at him as Adam stood up, stretching his tall and long body.

“That’s not all I have,” he said, shaking his hips a little to show Kris his new very human and very male appendage. “It’s a nice size, isn’t it?”

Kris blushed and bit his lip. “This is so awesome. I can’t wait to introduce you to my human friends!”

“Or we could have sex.”

He stood up and pouted slightly when he realized that he was shorter than Adam. “Hey, that’s not fair. Your legs are too long!”

“There is nothing about me that is too anything. I’m perfectly proportioned!”

“But—“

Kris never finished his protest because he was too busy moaning when Adam pulled him in close for a long, wet kiss. He doesn’t stop until Kris is breathless and panting and totally starry-eyed and his own male appendage was starting to show interest – a lot of interest, thank you very much. “Okay…what?”

“Sex on the beach, Kris. _Please_.”

“Oh. Okay,” Kris said, dazedly as Adam carefully guided him along the rocky wall towards Kris’s little camping area. He tossed Kris on the sleeping bag and dropped down right on top of him, kissing and touching and nipping everywhere as Kris just moaned and ran his hands up and down Adam’s lithe body, his legs moving apart and sliding up Adam’s side as he hummed happily against Kris’s skin, grinding down against him with a fast and sure rhythm with his hips. “Hmmm…this is…yes…”

“Did you bring all the things we need?”

Kris nodded, his hand reaching under the sleeping bag for the small tube. “Here. Come on.”

Adam stared at the tube and fumbled with it, finally get the little flip top cap to open. He squeezed out the whole thing of lube on Kris’s stomach and Kris laughed, looking up at him. “What is this? Do I eat it? Is it supposed to be a sexy liquid snack? It doesn’t really smell good.”

“Like this,” Kris said, taking Adam’s hand and swiping two fingers into the puddle of lube and shifting his hips so that he could guide Adam’s fingers to his hidden opening. “Press inside slowly.”

He knew Adam thought it was weird from the expression on his face, but Adam did as Kris told him and Kris arched and moaned. Adam’s fingers were thick and long and felt so good inside of him.

“This is so strange,” Adam murmured, pressing his fingers in and out of Kris, his blue eyes fixated and wide. He watched as Kris moaned and shivered on the sleeping bag. “You like this!”

“Ohmygod, of course I like this,” Kris said, sighing deeply. “Trust me, you’re going to like it a lot more in just a minute.”

“This just seems so one-sided,” he complained, pouting. “I mean, what kind of sex is this? At least if we were in our other forms, we could rub our bellies together or something and it would be mutual pleasure, but this is just—“

“Adam!” Kris moaned, grabbing his wrist and pulling Adam’s fingers out of him gently. He looked up at Adam’s pouty face and sighed, collecting the rest of the lube and wrapping his hand around Adam’s semi interested cock, stroking him and stroking him.

Adam smiled and leaned his head back, groaning throatily. “Hmmm…I like it so much better with that wet snack liquid.”

Kris used his legs to lever Adam into position. He relaxed and looked up at Adam, the tip of his cock against his opening. “Okay, push in—SLOWLY! For the love of Poseidon—“

“THIS IS AMAZING!” Adam screamed, sinking deeply into Kris and started thrusting and grinding and twisting and moving over him, nothing but instinct and pleasure guiding him.

It was a good thing that Kris knew what he was doing. He tightened his arms and legs around Adam, holding him still. He gritted his teeth as Adam continued to undulate and shift and tried to break free.

“ADAM!”

Adam whimpered, trembling over Kris. “This is sex?”

“Ohmygod, yes—“

“Hmmm…I promise to get better at it later but can we finish this?”

Kris laughed, looking up at Adam. He kissed him, slowly letting go of Adam’s body, moaning when Adam found and shared a rhythm that they both liked.

_“Yes, that’s good.”_

_“Much—ohhh, Adam—much better.”_

_“Yes! There! Right there!”_

_“Oh! Keep going! Don’t stop! Don’t stop!”_

Kris groaned and sank back on the sleeping bag, his arms and legs limp. He grinned as Adam gave him another hard thrust and froze over him, making some kind of choking and wailing sound as he stared at Kris in shocked pleasure. Adam tensed and gasped, then fell over Kris letting out the most pleased sound he had ever heard Adam make.

“Ohhhh, Kris…”

He giggled, biting Adam’s freckled shoulder. He thought it was kind of funny that the polka-dotted shark had freckles.

“Can we do this all the time?”

“Pretty much.”

“I am _so_ happy right now,” Adam murmured into his ear.

Kris patted his shoulder, blissed out on his own pleasure. Being two-legged was the best thing ever.

“Kris?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure I can’t eat a seagull? I’m really hungry now.”

Kris laughed, lifting Adam’s head to look into his blue eyes. “No. No seagulls, Adam.”

“But why? I gave you pleasure and everything.”

“Because they make your mouth taste yucky.”

Adam nodded, solemnly. “Okay. But I’m still hungry.”

“Me, too,” he said, gently moving Adam out and off of him. They turned on their sides and Adam’s hands roved over Kris’s body, touching him anywhere he wanted. “Let’s wash in the water and then I’ll take you to visit my human friend Allison. She’ll make you some amazing human food.”

Adam pouted as he looked longingly out at the rocky wall, the flock of seagulls wandering around.

“Come on, you big baby. Her specialty is something called ‘Mac Cheese’ and she has the biggest and softest bed ever,” Kris cajoled, seeing the interest in Adam’s eyes.

“A bed? What’s a bed? Is that a sexy power or something to eat?”

“It’s a place to have sex.”

Adam humphfed.

“You know, I think you’re going to really like her.” Kris kissed him on the cheek. “She has something called make-up that she puts on her face to make her look alluring.”

“Really?”

“Hmm…I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t mind sharing all of her pretty things with you.”

Adam’s eyes widened in joy but he arranged his expression so that he appeared bored or nonchalant. “Fine. But I’m only going for the food, not to meet this human Allison or whatever.”

Kris smiled. “Okay.”

 

The End.


End file.
